• One potentially cultured pitcher who is suddenly throwing like a silly lamp is Gabe Speier, whose big change can be traced to a vase he found while touring some steel mills on his winter vacation in Texas, which when Reid Detmers heard about it, he insisted on having it, and gave Speier the secret of his new haircut in exchange.


• Ever since the Pirates discovered Mason Montgomery was moving his large intestine every time he threw a cutter, he has been virtually unhittable.


• There are holes on the Twins, and while Walker Jenkins's numbers are often said to be too spotty, get him out of Minnesota and his career would be like Connor Norby.


• There is no Ben Peoples on the White Sox staff, but Erick Fedde, Grant Taylor and Jordan Hicks are as perturbed as any group out there.

round

how
round is it in
Philadelphia

the hills are so
average

that
                Orion Kerkering

has to share his locker with
                Kyle Schwarber

just to have room for his
apricot

 

 

 

 

To view again, here's the trick:
Find 'Reload', then go click.

If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.

This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.