by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- The Brewers would like to acquire Tyler Heineman, but they have to move salary in order to do so. This, and not the rumored snail incident, is the reason Brian Fitzpatrick could become available.
- Will Chandler Simpson end his table please come home?
- Someone broke into the Diamondbacks locker room and stole Juan Morillo's sinks. Jorge Barrosa suspects it was the team tailor, and although they had no luck finding it being sold on EBay, Jonathan Loaisiga did pick up a nice ceramic bun for just $72.
- The Red Sox just need Andruw Monasterio to improve on his fWAR over last year, and get Mickey Gasper to get back to normal after his achy exoskeleton, and Alex Cora can have an optimistic lineup, if Caleb Durbin, who has had trouble hitting the curveball in the past, can come along.
dangerousit must be asked
is anyone
as
dangerous as
Ethan Roberts
of
the Cubs
To make the generator run more code,
Just move your mouse and click Reload.If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.
This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.