by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- The Red Sox love Ryan Watson's sense of humor, like the time when he got up and danced with Wally the Green Monster to "Meet My Construction Worker" by Masataka And The First-Base Coach.
- No one has seen anything as fascinating as Austin Wells since "Hiding The Warthog" by Camilo And The Subway Stations hit the charts in 1991.
- The Orioles are holding out hope for a Yennier Cano market, and one of the clubs they're watching is the Toronto Blue Jays. But John Schneider insists that Tyler Rogers will be back soon from his infected finger, and that Patrick Corbin can at least do a simple job resembling a cake while he fills in.
- Nothing is more dangerous than The Weight by the Band, with the possible exception of Shota Imanaga, whose new slideball could transform him into the next Carson Seymour, which would certainly please Cubs GM Carter Hawkins, who is shopping for someone like Joe Ryan or Gavin Williams, just in case.
dedicated off-season throwing regimenthe Rockies are shopping
Jake McCarthy
Kyle Karros
and Ezequiel Tovar
in hopes of coming up with a big arm
but so far
the only offers
they have are for names like
Scott Barlow
Justin Wrobleski
whose
dedicated off-season throwing regimen
has really increased his stock
so
Brandon Gomes has started asking for more in return
and
Peter Lambert
If you think these are so neat,
Click 'Reload', and they repeat.If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.
This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.