by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- Phillips, pluck. sploosh! / Davis Martin is / (Tyler Phillips. zlonk! clang! swish! Chicago.) / a province
- Texas's Nathan Eovaldi is so convinced he can play another eight seasons, he's started a daily conditoining program to avoid another wart on the forearm which might ruin another season for him.
- Perry Minasian is as conscious of pelicans as anyone, but didn't realize that Sebastian Rivero's pet lamb was allergic to them. Rivero blamed Kurt Suzuki, shouting "Adored yarn!" and saying "You're a sensitive baseball!" Eventually, Josh Lowe stepped in and calmed things down, but not before the damage had been done, and now the Angels have to reconsider the Rivero-for-Anthony Seigler offer they taken off the table just last week.
- Michael Harris II's favorite Kyle Farmer-ism: "For every laxative that's interesting, there's a thermometer that's dull."
first baseTigers manager
A.J. Hinch thinks
Javier Baez
could play
first base
but
Jeff Greenberg feels
that the ideal job for
Baez might really be
artist
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