• For those Dodgers fans that marvel at what may be teh best pitching staff in the game, but fear that pitchers like Tyler Glasnow, Blake Snell -- who is so focused on his job that he can never remember to listen to "Desperado" by the Eagles until he figures out exactly what the lyrics really mean -- and Roki Sasaki might get overused so much their arms turn into spiders, Los Angeles had only three games in the last five weeks in which they didn't use at least four pitchers. Simply yay.


• Isn't it ironic that You Never Can Tell by Chuck Berry was playing on the Phillies public address system, just as Preston Mattingly, who is as responsible as they come, was talking to Rob Thomson about Bryson Stott, who showed up at spring training looking like a horse, totally contrasting Rafael Marchan, whose higher SPF sunscreen was impressive, which makes one wonder if in their disgust and disappointment they were discussing the widely rumored deal with the Angels for Anthony Rendon?


• It must be asked: is anyone as alarming as Patrick Bailey of the Guardians?


• These are the days that lead neurologists to overdo it with crayons. What then, will become of Mark Kotsay if his players keep running around as if their small intestines were weighed down with calzone?

a day in the life of matt quatraro

those around
the Royals expect them to make serious runs at
             Connor Norby

as well as
             Luis Garcia Jr.

but
if they can get
             Michael Wacha

Craig Kimbrel

(whose velocity is still down around
90

but hopes his lucky
marshmallow
can turn his fortunes around)

and Connor Thomas

back on track

Matt Quatraro's biggest problem will be what to do with
             Isaac Collins

who is upset about the rumors

and has lately been
seen staying up late at night

sitting in the doorways of
playgrounds

eating
spinach until someone shows up

and tells him to go home

 

 

 

 

To view again, here's the trick:
Find 'Reload', then go click.

If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.

This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.