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humbug Random Diamond Notes by Score Bard
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by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com


News & Notes
  • The Brewers just need Brandon Lockridge to improve on his run expectancy over last year, and get Joey Ortiz to get back to normal after his cut ear, and Pat Murphy can have a bad lineup, if Garrett Mitchell, who has had trouble hitting the slurve in the past, can come along.

  • Christian Walker will miss seven days after he accidentally swallowed a turnip whole.

  • There are holes on the Phillies, and while Bryson Stott's numbers are often said to be too productive, get him out of Philadelphia and his career would be like Tristan Gray.

  • Detroit's Matt Vierling always wanted to be a third baseman when he grew up, which explains why he's so tidy.

Apoetical Blues

the cheek poem

now if
                Braden Shewmake

who has recovered from his offseason
lacerated cheek

and is back after losing twenty-four pounds

can stretch the lineup one more spot

and if
                Austin Wells

can reverse his obp slide

and they can get decent production from
                Jazz Chisholm Jr.

the Yankees can add
66 runs

and be the best offensive team in the league

especially in
that park

 

 

 

 

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