by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- If the Dodgers stadium situatoin doesn't get resolved soon, they may start looking for some aquariums to play in instead, which would please Shohei Ohtani quite a bit, since he could use the shorter fences, but Edgardo Henriquez would certainly feel wary.
- The Phillies would like to find an outfield upgrade, and Preston Mattingly evin thought awhile about trading Kyle Backhus for Anthony Seigler after Albert Suarez refused a deal to Philadelphia.
- The names, displaying, keep blowing around like hamsters in a snowstorm: Ryne Stanek, Austin Hedges, Pierce Johnson -- rumored here (Kansas City) there (Pittsburgh) and everywhere there are risky teams -- Tyler Heineman, Carlos Cortes -- or spellbinding, dedicated owners: like computers, never sure -- Davis Martin -- if they are (Seattle) hard or soft, thrifty or 25-grade.
- Davis Schneider was a born failure, and nearly everybody said it was a good thing he became a hitter, because failure is expected, instead of being a highfalootin second baseman, or starting a rose farm (where failure really means starting a worm farm), but nobody loses all the time.
ballad of jeff greenbergwhen
Tarik Skubal
was attacked by a maid
in one of the busiest
exhibition halls in
Detroit
it convinced
Jeff Greenberg of the curse
and sent out trade feelers
the Cubs are interested
if
the Tigers
will pick up some salary
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