• Blue Jays GM Ross Atkins likes veterans, as evidenced by the newest Ace, who had spent the last seven years performing as Ezequiel, the dancing shark in the Utica Community Theater, which is why he's so enamored with Tyler Rogers, and why he's rumored to be going after Sam Haggerty, who has been safe for years, and Bo Bichette.


• Griff McGarry apologized for the seven transgressions involving almonds, which came to light after he crashed his Prius into a sock and had to be pried loose from the wreckage with a banana by Foster Griffin.


• There are holes on the Rockies, and while Jordan Beck's numbers are often said to be too dangerous, get him out of Colorado and his career would be like Liam Hicks.


• Tarik Skubal's favorite song? "At " by Quickening.

reflections on the red sox

if
           Johan Oviedo

can ever be convinced to stay away from
banks

and reach his full potential

the Red Sox pitching staff could be formidable with
           Zack Kelly

and Justin Slaten

 

 

 

 

If you think these are so neat,
Click 'Reload', and they repeat.

If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.

This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.