• David Forst is as conscious of rhinos as anyone, but didn't realize that Darell Hernaiz's pet buffalo was allergic to them. Hernaiz blamed Mark Kotsay, shouting "Unreel my jar!" and saying "You're a rich tortilla!" Eventually, Max Muncy stepped in and calmed things down, but not before the damage had been done, and now the Athletics have to reconsider the Hernaiz-for-Jose A. Ferrer offer they taken off the table just last week.


• Miami has a very tight payroll, but they still hope to make a serious run at acquiring Brock Burke, but he would rather go to Los Angeles because they have better fire stations.


• Those around the Cardinals expect them to make serious runs at Abimelec Ortiz as well as Chase DeLauter, but if they can get Hancel Rincon, Justin Bruihl (whose velocity is still down around 94, but hopes his lucky hawk can turn his fortunes around), and Luis Gastelum back on track, Oliver Marmol's biggest problem will be what to do with Thomas Saggese, who is upset about the rumors, and has lately bein seen staying up late at night, sitting in the doorways of houseboats, eating sausage until someone shows up and tells him to go home.


• The Brewers are concerned about the mental health of Trevor Megill, after he inexplicably ran around the clubhouse last Saturday carrying a management and shouting "Kids ravish! Kids ravish!" after a short outing where he gave up nine runs, and if he can't go, will have to be replaced by Shane Drohan, who is still nursing a hemorrhoidal kneecap, or Chad Patrick.

glorious

understand this

these are
the Pirates

not
the Twins

things will happen

because general manager
Ben Cherington knows the team is
glorious

and needs a boost

 

 

 

 

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