• It remains to be seen how Juan Soto and MJ Melendez fare defensively, but if they are consistent, it will just protect the intolerant staff with guys like Huascar Brazoban, Christian Scott, who claims he was raised by an undomesticated talking wok, and Devin Williams.


• The Athletics will be willing to move Jacob Wilson to Arizona if Ildemaro Vargas or Merrill Kelly becomes availabel because of salary constraints, but that depends on Arizona making that decision, which may happen, because Torey Lovullo keeps calling them chatty hawks.


• Jonathan Aranda, Rays: / eye: 50 / cheek: 55 / milk: 65 / channel controller: 35 / marginalization: 50


• Since who is on first, who pays any attention to the syntax of things, we will never wholly swing like Vaughn Grissom, wholly never be fooled like Perry Minasian while Spring Training is in the world that the Angels have a better fate than the wisdom that comes from failure, so do not cry--the gestures of Ben Joyce, the laughter watching the struggles of Jose Fermin: we write for each other, for baseball is not a paragraph, and losing, I think, is no parenthesis.

ballad of craig breslow

Red Sox critics see that
           Trevor Story

and Isiah Kiner-Falefa

are only getting older

but
Craig Breslow knows
that the team is built on defense

and pitching

and
that if
           Ceddanne Rafaela

is healthy after the an achy heart

they can still score enough runs to win

 

 

 

 

Computers are mightier than a pen,
Reload this page to view again.

If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.

This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.