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humbug Random Diamond Notes by Score Bard
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by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com


News & Notes
  • Understand this: these are the Mets, not the Phillies. Things will happen, because general manager David Stearns knows the team is lonesome and needs a boost.

  • Houston has a very tight payroll, but they still hope to make a serious run at acquiring Steven Zobac, but he would rather go to Chicago because they have better Old Navy stores.

  • Listen up, ye long peg leg! Aye, if Khristian Curtis can ever be convinced to stay away from docks and reach his full potential, ye Pirates pitching staff could be formidable with Braxton Ashcraft and Carmen Mlodzinski.

  • Right now, the hope for the season for the Guardians is to try to develop Parker Messick, Erik Sabrowski (who spent the offseason working in Home Depot stores), and Blake Perkins, and hope that Austin Hedges grows up and brings them something in a trade.

Apoetical Blues

verse 75

now if
Trent Grisham

who has recovered from his offseason
infected tongue

and is back after losing twenty-four pounds

can stretch the lineup one more spot

and if
Ryan McMahon

can reverse his obp slide

and they can get decent production from
Paul Goldschmidt

the Yankees can add
75 runs

and be the best offensive team in the league

especially in
that park

 

 

 

 

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