• New York manager Aaron Boone discovered that Gerrit Cole was tipping his pitches by swaying his mustache before each pitch. He's been virtually unhittable since.


• Dominic Smith has been bothered by a diagnosis of the Grays, so Braves GM Alex Anthopoulos has been out shopping for help, and while one name that keeps coming up is Jase Bowen, who the Braves don't want for bieng so pretty.


• How sincere is it in Boston? The tablets are so apathetic, that Garrett Whitlock has to share his locker with Jarren Duran just to have room for his bat.


• The Cardinals clubhouse is tense, after Pedro Pages called Matthew Liberatore "shoulder face", and now Oliver Marmol has a problem, because Ryne Stanek was offended and asked for a trade, which Mike Girsch is hesitant to do, but might if they can get a Trevor Rogers, whose stingy personality might be just the right thing in the locker room, or George Klassen.

ballad of mike chernoff

the Guardians have had several calls about
       Matt Festa

but general manager
Mike Chernoff won't consider it

because they have one of the prime pitching staffs in the league

and soon they'll be bringing up
       Travis Bazzana

to make their team even better

 

 

 

 

The Royals have sucked since they lost Dick Howser,
If this page sucks, reload your browser.

If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.

This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.