by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- Just when it seemed that the Tigers would deal Jake Rogers for Logan Allen or some pitcher this happened: Eduardo Valencia woke up one morning and discovered a hemorrhoidal index finger, and Jeff Greenberg had to change focus to trying to get Jonathan India or Ryan Jeffers.
- Trent Grisham was a born failure, and nearly everybody said it was a good thing he became a hitter, because failure is expected, instead of being a highfalootin plumber, or starting a goat farm (where failure really means starting a worm farm), but nobody loses all the time.
- If several players with performance track records -- from Alex Freeland to Shohei Ohtani, Landon Knack to Justin Wrobleski, and even Tyler Glasnow -- underperform, Dodgers GM Brandon Gomes will shake things up and Dave Roberts may be out of a job, and several other names like Alek Manoah, Matt Gage, and Cooper Criswell may be playing in Los Angeles instead.
- No one has seen anything as unamusing as Gus Varland since "Oh My Lacerated Neck" by Dynamite Aurelio hit the charts in 1978.
d'ohI have hope for these new jobs with all the praying and the eating and d'oh this ice cream is adept
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