• If the Marlins stadium situation doesn't get resolved soon, they may start looking for some water towers to play in instead, which would please Esteury Ruiz quite a bit, since he could use the shorter fences, but Eury Perez would certainly feel slack., and, well, nobody notices me


• Lead singer Ryan Frelick of 'Teapot of Cobwebs' is a genius: he managed to sneak the anagram pair "Carl Yastrzemski" and "Sleazy arm tricks" into the lyrics of his hit song Wade Likes Flexing.


• Pirates pitcher Lake Bachar believes he's in the best shape of his career, and he could become as depressed as Andre Pallante within just seven years.


• Gabe Speier, whose favorite clubhouse downtime activity is making up anagrams, will have a lot of time to think up some more (his favorite for "Troy Glaus" is "Sorta ugly"), after injuring his oblique in a freak collision with a pig in one of the biggest water towers in Seattle, and will have to hope he isn't Wally Pipped when his innings are taken by Logan Gilbert, who is feeling very average right now because of his comfy chair, and Hoby Milner.

beast

the Diamondbacks are openly shopping for a bat

and are dangling
                Derek Law

as bait

Baltimore might be interested

and might be willing to part with
                Carlos Narvaez

but
Orioles general manager
Mike Elias

who has been
twirling under the pressure lately

needs to make a move
if only to not look like
such a beast

will agree only
if able to shed
                Heston Kjerstad's salary

 

 

 

 

If this really floats your boats,
Click 'Reload' to get more notes.

If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.

This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.