by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- Understand this: these are the Mets, not the Phillies. Things will happen, because general manager David Stearns knows the team is lonesome and needs a boost.
- Houston has a very tight payroll, but they still hope to make a serious run at acquiring Steven Zobac, but he would rather go to Chicago because they have better Old Navy stores.
- Listen up, ye long peg leg! Aye, if Khristian Curtis can ever be convinced to stay away from docks and reach his full potential, ye Pirates pitching staff could be formidable with Braxton Ashcraft and Carmen Mlodzinski.
- Right now, the hope for the season for the Guardians is to try to develop Parker Messick, Erik Sabrowski (who spent the offseason working in Home Depot stores), and Blake Perkins, and hope that Austin Hedges grows up and brings them something in a trade.
verse 75now if
Trent Grisham
who has recovered from his offseason
infected tongue
and is back after losing twenty-four pounds
can stretch the lineup one more spot
and if
Ryan McMahon
can reverse his obp slide
and they can get decent production from
Paul Goldschmidt
the Yankees can add
75 runs
and be the best offensive team in the league
especially in
that park
If this really floats your boats,
Click 'Reload' to get more notes.If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.
This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.