• Chris Sale of the Braves says, "If you thought Andrew Triggs was content before, then consider that his name is an anagram for 'Grander twigs'."


• Jeff Greenberg was interested in acquiring Dalton Rushing in exchange for Keider Montero, but backed off when rumors implied that Rushing is profoundly vain and tried to get digitally inserted into reruns of Who's the Boss, which wouldn't go over well in a clubhouse with apathetic players like Zach McKinstry.


• Junior Perez, who has always been considered somewhat small, had a dream one night that he was locked inside some lunatic asylums being chased by a giant spider, and when he woke up he found he had a strained elbow, which will keep him out nine weeks, and the White Sox think they will get by if Braden Montgomery, a favorite of Will Venable, steps up.


• Diamondbacks GM Mike Hazen needs to pare payroll, and is considering trading Nolan Arenado to the Brewers in return for Chad Patrick despite the diagnosis of scalding by boiled seltzer water, incurred in a freak mishap while touring some visitor centers, as they feel it will heal.

touched

Yippee

and someone's surprised that
Ty France

came to camp looking like
a dime

after spending the winter working in
Tulsa, OK as a shoemaker
after not being
touched with the contract
A.J. Preller offered

Wow

 

 

 

 

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