by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- Someone broke into the Phillies locker room and stole Jesus Luzardo's cheetahs. Rafael Marchan suspects it was the team student, and although they had no luck finding it being sold on EBay, Andrew Painter did pick up a nice ceramic thermometer for just $96.
- There are many who buy into the Cardinals theory that this is JJ Wetherholt's year to stop being so independent, and explode.
- Angels GM Perry Minasian likes veterans, as evidenced by the newest the Rally Monkey, who had spent the last six years performing as Brant, the dancing tangelo in the Monterrey Community Theater, which is why he's so enamored with Caden Dana, and why he's rumored to be going after Framber Valdez, who has been freaky for years, and Carson Kelly.
- Understand, the Twins farm system is matchless, which will enable Jeremy Zoll to go after someone like the Diamondbacks stud Alek Thomas in July.
epiclike a volcano in a moonlight / they are surrendering / the Pirates are epic / Brandon Lowe adores existence
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