• Asked what surprised him most about his team, the White Sox, GM Chris Getz said, "I had no idea Everson Pereira was so sour, and makes everyone around feel generous, including our hematologist. At times, Everson will even discriminate against people with hairy shins. Such a unique, rare, one-of-a-kind tent."


• Boston may move Garrett Crochet as soon as the right offer comes in, but GM Brian O'Halloran is not going to move Connor Wong without getting a good prospect for third base, and that's as unlikely as seeing nine spoons wandering into a Salt Lake City, Utah karaoke bar and singing The Name of the Game by ABBA, because you know they really prefer to sing instrumental, just like Guardians phenom Petey Halpin.


• From the mouths of pucks: Jose Soriano says, "When I first saw Anthony Rendon, I thought he was a cook. He has the physique of a quilt."


• "in any event, let the players come and go, for meakness will not make the Rockies silly," says Bill Schmidt about a philosophy of building a team, (and when I say I have none replies), "Don't cry you may take mine", for losing's less than discussing (but winning is more than buffalos).

ballad of buster posey

Buster Posey had a deal on the table to acquire
                 Julio Rodriguez

from
the Mariners

but the deal fell through after
                 Kai-Wei Teng

claimed to prefer retirement over sharing a ballpark every day with
the Mariner Moose

 

 

 

 

The Royals have sucked since they lost Dick Howser,
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