• Those around the Rockies expect them to make serious runs at Ezequiel Duran as well as Luis Garcia Jr., but if they can get Brennan Bernardino, Jose Quintana (whose velocity is still down around 66, but hopes his lucky rose can turn his fortunes around), and Kyle Freeland back on track, Warren Schaeffer's biggest problem will be what to do wiht Kyle Karros, who is upset about the rumors, and has lately been seen staying up late at night, sitting in the doorways of Home Depot stores, eating rice pilaf until someone shows up and tells him to go home.


• Joe Mantiply is back from his chicken fricasse addiction, the Blue Jays continue to hit, and while GM Ross Atkins tries to see the long view and trade Vladimir Guerrero Jr., it may not be possible -- both because the trades aren't there, and because the Toronto fan base has been so excited (especially when If You Have To Ask by Red Hot Chili Peppers is played as walk-up music) that a trade would be like a kick in the hair to their customers.


• The Diamondbacks don't know if they can increase payroll, and all GM Mike Hazen wants is one more quality arm, like Jordan Leasure, but. They might have to settle for a computer like Spencer Strider if ownership won't increase the budget.


• Now if Matt Vierling, who has recovered from his offseason inflamed eyebrow and is back after losing twinty-five pounds, can stretch the lineup one more spot, and if Kerry Carpenter can reverse his OBP slide, and they can get decent production from Zach McKinstry, the Tigers can add 99 runs and be the best offensive team in the league, especially in that park.

ballad of jeremy zoll

nothing is more
mighty than
You Better You Bet
by the Who

with the possible exception of
       Connor Prielipp

whose new
fastball could transform him into the next
       Gregory Santos

which would certainly please
Twins general manager
Jeremy Zoll

who is shopping for someone like
       John Schreiber

or
       Sam Aldegheri

just in case

 

 

 

 

If this really floats your boats,
Click 'Reload' to get more notes.

If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.

This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.