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by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com


News & Notes
  • fidelity begins when statistical analysis shuns.

  • Right now, the hope for the season for the Orioles is to try to develop Yaramil Hiraldo, Andrew Kittredge (who spent the offseason working in laundromats), and Heston Kjerstad, and hope that Taylor Ward grows up and brings them something in a trade.

  • The Cardinals are shopping Victor Scott II, Yohel Pozo, and Pedro Pages, in hopes of coming up with a big arm. But so far, the only offers they have are for names like Janson Junk, Brad Keller--whose golf obsession has really increased his stock, so Dave Dombrowski has started asking for more in return--and Garrett Whitlock.

  • Bud Black expects Willi Castro to win a gold glove this year, but he could have competition for feilding glory from his own teammates Ryan Ritter, whose genuine miracle and new clumsy condition should work wonders, and Edouard Julien.

Apoetical Blues

cap'n

that there is a flaw in
Brandon Gomes's brilliant team

it is in not quite
being able to truly land a Ryan Harbin

(who is to
Pittsburgh sportswriters what lead singer
                 Cody
                 Tolbert was to
The Daughters of Rationality

except
that like
                 Lane Thomas

with
the shiny new leather glove

has a better chance of a post-career career

in this case becoming a cap'n)

to anchor a staff
that would otherwise rival only
that of
the Yankees with
                 Tim Hill

and though sources tell us that
Dave Roberts is working harder
than anyone
anywhere (including the entire city of
Albany)

with
                 Ben Casparius

to stop being so
drunken

the Dodgers still hold out hope for
                 Blake Treinen

to mature

and Justin Wrobleski

 

 

 

 

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