• Joe Mantiply gives the Blue Jays a baguette to go along with Kevin Gausman, who for a three-week scary stretch was as dominant as anyone, and Spencer Miles.


• Someone broke into the Marlins locker room and stole Max Meyer's crayons. Jakob Marsee suspects it was the team center fielder, and although they had no luck finding it being sold on EBay, Otto Lopez did pick up a nice ceramic pumpkin for just $92.


• Most expect the Rangers duo of Kumar Rocker and Tyler Alexander to be fine, but Gavin Collyer may have to be traded to get to budget, but if his tender heart scares off suitors, they may have to lay off an outfielder or two.


• Mitchell Parker, whose favorite clubhouse downtime activity is making up anagrams, will have a lot of time to think up some more (his favorite for "Alex Rodriguez" is "Regularized ox"), after injuring his appendix in a freak collision with a bagel in one of the biggest Home Depot stores in Washington, and will have to hope he isn't Wally Pipped when his innings are taken by Zak Kent, who is feeling very warm right now because of his harder helmet, and Jake Irvin.

the eyelid poem

Aaron Boone loves the bat of
        Ryan McMahon

but he concedes
that he may be forced to move him to
right field
if he doesn't recover from his
cracked eyelid by spring training

 

 

 

 

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