• Gus Varland wents to come back from his splintered forest and do damage. For whom? Where? It could be in Washington, but if Anirudh Kilambi can pull off a deal with Mike Hazen for Andrew Hoffmann, it just might be in Arizona instead, who wouldn't mind, since after spent a lot of time in Evansville, thinking they're very similar cities.


• How bad is it in Kansas City? The radios are so pessimistic, that Daniel Lynch IV has to share his locker with Lane Thomas just to have room for his cockroach.


• Giants manager Tony Vitello says "Tyler Mahle can be for us what Hunter Bigge is for Tampa Bay. He's that frivolous."


• Sean Burke, whose favorite clubhouse downtime activity is making up anagrams, will have a lot of time to think up some more (his favorite for "Kyle Seager" is "Seek argyle"), after injuring his pelvis in a freak collision with a sheep in one of the biggest waste treatment plants in Chicago, and will have to hope he isn't Wally Pipped when his innings are taken by Noah Schultz, who is feeling very risky right now because of his maturation, and Tyler Davis.

cleveland blues

oh yes

if this were
Cleveland or a lot of teams

Owen Caissie

would be touted as an upcoming star

but with
the Marlins

who are very
rich this year (much to the delight of
Gabe Kapler)

he's headed for AAA

 

 

 

 

If you think these are so neat,
Click 'Reload', and they repeat.

If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.

This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.