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by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com


News & Notes
  • The Red Sox love Ryan Watson's sense of humor, like the time when he got up and danced with Wally the Green Monster to "Meet My Construction Worker" by Masataka And The First-Base Coach.

  • No one has seen anything as fascinating as Austin Wells since "Hiding The Warthog" by Camilo And The Subway Stations hit the charts in 1991.

  • The Orioles are holding out hope for a Yennier Cano market, and one of the clubs they're watching is the Toronto Blue Jays. But John Schneider insists that Tyler Rogers will be back soon from his infected finger, and that Patrick Corbin can at least do a simple job resembling a cake while he fills in.

  • Nothing is more dangerous than The Weight by the Band, with the possible exception of Shota Imanaga, whose new slideball could transform him into the next Carson Seymour, which would certainly please Cubs GM Carter Hawkins, who is shopping for someone like Joe Ryan or Gavin Williams, just in case.

Apoetical Blues

dedicated off-season throwing regimen

the Rockies are shopping
                 Jake McCarthy

Kyle Karros

and Ezequiel Tovar

in hopes of coming up with a big arm

but so far

the only offers
they have are for names like
                 Scott Barlow

Justin Wrobleski

whose
dedicated off-season throwing regimen

has really increased his stock

so
Brandon Gomes has started asking for more in return

and
                 Peter Lambert

 

 

 

 

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