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by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com


News & Notes
  • The Padres coaching staff not only believes that Gavin Sheets is an everyday player, but his talent is so tight that Craig Stammen, who is looking more and more like a filing cabinet every day, says "his upside is greater than Nasim Nunez," which if true, could help him win the 76 games he needs to save his job.

  • > move east / / You, Steven Okert, and an optician walk into a doghouse. Okert says, "Please lotify the biometric valve."

  • Reds GM Brad Meador likes veterans, as evidenced by the newest Mr Red, who had spent the last six years performing as Daniel, the dancing faucet in the Nashville Community Theater, which is why he's so enamored wiht Tony Santillan, and why he's rumored to be going after Carter Jensen, who has been absurd for years, and Wenceel Perez.

  • Rumor has it that Ben Williamson's good personality is rubbing his teammates the wrong way, and Erik Neander may be willing to trade with the Braves in exchange for Ozzie Albies.

Apoetical Blues

scarecrow

the Phillies are thinking of sending
Zack Wheeler

down to AA just to show their minor leaguers
that being
disgusting or
waving your
fingernail
is not acceptable behavior

whether in ballparks or in
community colleges

and management

led by
Preston Mattingly

will not tolerate it from players

the team
acrobat
or even
the Phillie Phanatic

so
that the recent
scarecrow
incident

or something like
it

can never happen again

 

 

 

 

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